Post by Empress on Jun 1, 2003 13:02:51 GMT -5
This was written to a newspaper in Stann Creek, Belize:
Dear Sister;
Brothers have stories too so please bear with me and let me tell my story.
I met my lovely wife 32 years ago. She was my high school sweetheart. Our union produced seven lovely children all of whom are now grown and living their separate lives.
My wife and I have had our ups and downs, but with lots of prayers and communication we carried on.
My wife fell sick about a year ago, she started having fever, diarrhea, and vomiting and she also had a cold for several weeks. I took her to the doctor, thinking that she was suffering from food poisoning or that she was just having a bad case of the flu.
We arrived at the doctor’s office and shortly thereafter she was examined. She had to take several tests and she was then given orders to rest and drink plenty fluids.
The doctor told me that she should return in two weeks to see if she had improved and to find out the results of her tests.
After two weeks we went back and the doctor told us to have a seat because he needed to talk to us about a serious matter. The doctor informed us that my wife was HIV positive.
HIV imagine that a 51 year old mother, of seven grown children, suffering from HIV.
I was shocked into complete silence. I just simply could not believe what I had just heard from the Doctor.
I told that him that there must be some mistake, that this couldn’t possibly be my wife’s fate. I was so taken by this news, that I had hardly paid attention to how all this news was affecting her. In fact, I was pretty angry with her to say the least and deep down I didn’t care how she felt, only how I felt.
The doctor, told us that she would need to take a lot of different medication, and that we should both get some counseling, because she would need someone strong to care of her, and someone who understood what she was going through.
I was advised to take an HIV test as soon as possible to determine my health condition.
I have been faithful to my wife for all the years that we have been living together. I have not used any type of drugs, I have never had a blood transfusion, so I was 100% positive that I was not responsible for my wife’s condition.
To the best of my knowledge, she is not a drug user, and she has not taken any blood transfusion. This therefore left one question in my mind, the question of infidelity on the part of my wife.
When we got home, I demanded answers, even though I had no questions. I guess this generation would say I was acting like a real “jerk”.
My wife remained silent, she accepted my criticisms and rude behavior, and she acted like the mature one, even though it was she who was faced with this deadly disease.
I eventually took the HIV test as was advised and the two weeks of waiting was a living hell for me. When my results came back I was found to be HIV negative. This made me even more furious.
I returned from the doctor’s office and confronted my wife. I told her that the result of my test was negative and this is when she started to cry. All this time she never showed any emotion. She said that she needed to talk to me and that I should remain calm.
She requested patience and understanding from me. I sat there my Sister, praying God would give me the strength to understand whatever it was she wanted to say.
She told me that about ten years ago when we were having some problems and I had left home for a few months, she began having an affair with another man for about three months. She said me that she did it out of spite, and nothing else.
She sat there crying her heart out, trying to make me understand, and my Sister, I couldn’t, I just couldn’t understand. I never once cheated on my wife, she was my world.
Like all couples we had our differences from time to time. However, when things got rough, I would leave and go back to my family’s house and I only did this because I did not want to abuse my wife in any way.
This new revelation was most devastating to me. Even though she cheated to hurt me, I never found out, so this new confession tore me to pieces.
This time I called our children, all of them and told them what the situation was. I told them everything. To my surprise, my four eldest children knew about their mother’s infidelity but they kept the secret from me. They did so, according to them, because they did not want to hurt their Daddy.
After this my Sister, I began to pray I tried to understand and forgive my wife. I told myself that I had stuck with her for 32 years and I decided that the least I could do was to stick with her now.
My wife cried everyday, all day, she was embarrassed and ashamed. I tried to make her understand that she would not be alone and that despite my initial reaction, I still loved her.
My wife’s health began to deteriorate at a very rapid pace. She died three weeks ago, six months after she was first diagnosed with AIDS.
In her final days I tried to make her as comfortable and as happy as I could. We grew to understand each other and in the end I forgave her and she knew how much I loved and cared for her.
The week after her death I began to feel stressed out and tired so I went to the doctor for some tests. I received the results yesterday and now I am HIV positive.
I will try to continue living my life as normal as I can. Each day I feel my limbs getting weaker and weaker, but my Sister, I am glad I made my wife happy in her final days.
I shared this story because I wanted these young people to know that HIV/AIDS has no bounds and limitations. I want them to know that they should cherish their wives and husbands, and children.
I want everyone to remember that we are all responsible for our action and the each action has a consequence whether good or bad.
Thank you for this opportunity to tell my story.
Please keep me in your prayers.
Love,
Your Brother*
Dear Sister;
Brothers have stories too so please bear with me and let me tell my story.
I met my lovely wife 32 years ago. She was my high school sweetheart. Our union produced seven lovely children all of whom are now grown and living their separate lives.
My wife and I have had our ups and downs, but with lots of prayers and communication we carried on.
My wife fell sick about a year ago, she started having fever, diarrhea, and vomiting and she also had a cold for several weeks. I took her to the doctor, thinking that she was suffering from food poisoning or that she was just having a bad case of the flu.
We arrived at the doctor’s office and shortly thereafter she was examined. She had to take several tests and she was then given orders to rest and drink plenty fluids.
The doctor told me that she should return in two weeks to see if she had improved and to find out the results of her tests.
After two weeks we went back and the doctor told us to have a seat because he needed to talk to us about a serious matter. The doctor informed us that my wife was HIV positive.
HIV imagine that a 51 year old mother, of seven grown children, suffering from HIV.
I was shocked into complete silence. I just simply could not believe what I had just heard from the Doctor.
I told that him that there must be some mistake, that this couldn’t possibly be my wife’s fate. I was so taken by this news, that I had hardly paid attention to how all this news was affecting her. In fact, I was pretty angry with her to say the least and deep down I didn’t care how she felt, only how I felt.
The doctor, told us that she would need to take a lot of different medication, and that we should both get some counseling, because she would need someone strong to care of her, and someone who understood what she was going through.
I was advised to take an HIV test as soon as possible to determine my health condition.
I have been faithful to my wife for all the years that we have been living together. I have not used any type of drugs, I have never had a blood transfusion, so I was 100% positive that I was not responsible for my wife’s condition.
To the best of my knowledge, she is not a drug user, and she has not taken any blood transfusion. This therefore left one question in my mind, the question of infidelity on the part of my wife.
When we got home, I demanded answers, even though I had no questions. I guess this generation would say I was acting like a real “jerk”.
My wife remained silent, she accepted my criticisms and rude behavior, and she acted like the mature one, even though it was she who was faced with this deadly disease.
I eventually took the HIV test as was advised and the two weeks of waiting was a living hell for me. When my results came back I was found to be HIV negative. This made me even more furious.
I returned from the doctor’s office and confronted my wife. I told her that the result of my test was negative and this is when she started to cry. All this time she never showed any emotion. She said that she needed to talk to me and that I should remain calm.
She requested patience and understanding from me. I sat there my Sister, praying God would give me the strength to understand whatever it was she wanted to say.
She told me that about ten years ago when we were having some problems and I had left home for a few months, she began having an affair with another man for about three months. She said me that she did it out of spite, and nothing else.
She sat there crying her heart out, trying to make me understand, and my Sister, I couldn’t, I just couldn’t understand. I never once cheated on my wife, she was my world.
Like all couples we had our differences from time to time. However, when things got rough, I would leave and go back to my family’s house and I only did this because I did not want to abuse my wife in any way.
This new revelation was most devastating to me. Even though she cheated to hurt me, I never found out, so this new confession tore me to pieces.
This time I called our children, all of them and told them what the situation was. I told them everything. To my surprise, my four eldest children knew about their mother’s infidelity but they kept the secret from me. They did so, according to them, because they did not want to hurt their Daddy.
After this my Sister, I began to pray I tried to understand and forgive my wife. I told myself that I had stuck with her for 32 years and I decided that the least I could do was to stick with her now.
My wife cried everyday, all day, she was embarrassed and ashamed. I tried to make her understand that she would not be alone and that despite my initial reaction, I still loved her.
My wife’s health began to deteriorate at a very rapid pace. She died three weeks ago, six months after she was first diagnosed with AIDS.
In her final days I tried to make her as comfortable and as happy as I could. We grew to understand each other and in the end I forgave her and she knew how much I loved and cared for her.
The week after her death I began to feel stressed out and tired so I went to the doctor for some tests. I received the results yesterday and now I am HIV positive.
I will try to continue living my life as normal as I can. Each day I feel my limbs getting weaker and weaker, but my Sister, I am glad I made my wife happy in her final days.
I shared this story because I wanted these young people to know that HIV/AIDS has no bounds and limitations. I want them to know that they should cherish their wives and husbands, and children.
I want everyone to remember that we are all responsible for our action and the each action has a consequence whether good or bad.
Thank you for this opportunity to tell my story.
Please keep me in your prayers.
Love,
Your Brother*
