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Post by Melody on Jun 11, 2003 21:30:14 GMT -5
Honestly does anyone choose not to date someone because of their skin tone or features? Especially in fear of what their kids may look like.
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Post by Melody on Jun 11, 2003 21:47:07 GMT -5
I am a medium skin-toned girl and my boyfriend is really dark. I have never even thought about his color, but some of my friends tease me about his color and say that he is a "curse" because he has "strong" genes and they crack some cruel jokes.
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Post by CHAOTIC on Jun 13, 2003 0:01:34 GMT -5
IT IS INTERESTING THAT YOU BROUGHT THAT UP 'CAUSE MY MAN RIGHT NOW IS NOT ALL THAT. HE HAS TWO KIDS WITH HIS EX AN I LOOK AT THEM & IT MAKES ME NOT WANNA HAVE KIDS BY HIM. I THINK ABOUT HOW OUR KIDS WILL LOOK IF WE EVER DECIDE TO HAVE SOME AND NOT ONLY AM I PRAYING THAT THEY BE HEALTHY BUT TO HAVE MOMMY'S LOOKS ON THE REAL. HE'S GOT A DARK COMPLEXION AND I AM REAL LIGHT SO I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T THINK I WANT TO.
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Empress
Junior Member
Don't start none, won't be none
Posts: 95
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Post by Empress on Jun 13, 2003 13:02:00 GMT -5
I'm really surprised at your response Chaotic. As for me I don't care what complexion my children are. If I find a man that treats me like the queen I am, loves me and can provide for his children I would not care what our offspring would look like. Just because two parents look a certain way doesn't mean that your children will take of ANY of your looks. Genetics are out of your hands. Skin tone doesn't mean a thing to me, as long as my child is healthy, normal BLACK child. If they're hair is too kinky for Mommy to deal with they will have dreads until they can deal with it. I think that thinking about skin tones and being a shamed of your black heritage is archaic. I am a proud Black Empress and I think that the Black race really needs to work on getting rid of the mentality of holding the caucasian race as our standards of beauty. Melody girl, I say if you are attracted to your man and his skin color doesn't bother you, forget your friends, they speak out of ignorance. Why counldn't they be happy you've found somebody good in your life? Forget about his skin tone or the "curse." I don't think being dark skinned is a curse, just like I don't think having full lips and kinky hair is a curse. It's a blessing.
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Post by Guest on Jun 13, 2003 13:07:53 GMT -5
I think that different shades of color shouldn’t be an issue in a "MATURE RELATIONSHIP" especially within a "black" union. This is the kind of stereotype we have within the Black community that is very distressing. What does it matter if you are "light”, "dark”, "brown". We say we detest when are "black men" are with white women, but why do we stress on color distinction within our own culture. Chaotic: is your plight about having kids with your man about his features or his Darkness? If he was light and ugly would it still matter? Who the hell cares if he is darkest thing on earth, what matters is that he makes you happy (Melody). This is a very good topic, I've come across some very ignorant Belizeans when it comes to the issue of: light and dark
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Post by Melody on Jun 16, 2003 19:43:06 GMT -5
IT IS INTERESTING THAT YOU BROUGHT THAT UP 'CAUSE MY MAN RIGHT NOW IS NOT ALL THAT. HE HAS TWO KIDS WITH HIS EX AN I LOOK AT THEM & IT MAKES ME NOT WANNA HAVE KIDS BY HIM. I THINK ABOUT HOW OUR KIDS WILL LOOK IF WE EVER DECIDE TO HAVE SOME AND NOT ONLY AM I PRAYING THAT THEY BE HEALTHY BUT TO HAVE MOMMY'S LOOKS ON THE REAL. HE'S GOT A DARK COMPLEXION AND I AM REAL LIGHT SO I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T THINK I WANT TO. Oh my goodness, you are crazy and thanks for your honesty. I was sitting at work and read your response and I started laughing so hard. I didn't think that anyone would respond. I think that features are what makes you ugly or pretty, because I have seen some ugly light-skinned people. And I bet that if someone was deeply in love with their man or woman, they wouldn't care about looks or color. Everyone made some good points.
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Post by Melody on Jun 16, 2003 19:47:26 GMT -5
I think that different shades of color shouldn’t be an issue in a "MATURE RELATIONSHIP" especially within a "black" union. This is the kind of stereotype we have within the Black community that is very distressing. What does it matter if you are "light”, "dark”, "brown". We say we detest when are "black men" are with white women, but why do we stress on color distinction within our own culture. Chaotic: is your plight about having kids with your man about his features or his Darkness? If he was light and ugly would it still matter? Who the hell cares if he is darkest thing on earth, what matters is that he makes you happy (Melody). This is a very good topic, I've come across some very ignorant Belizeans when it comes to the issue of: light and dark it is sad that Black people trip off the features, skin color or hair of other Black people. Attractive people catch hell from their same sexes.
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Post by BelizeanPoet on Jul 23, 2003 16:33:13 GMT -5
Skin color nor race is a factor to me i try to judge people by their personality not their skin color. You know when you are attracted to someone and that is what i go by.
Making a child with that man will be the miracle because regarless of the skin color or looks of either partner, it's still your child you'll love them regardless.
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Post by Frain on Nov 30, 2003 19:34:14 GMT -5
I am not racist, but I am not blind either. Let's face it being black does not help anyone in today's society so let's stop dreaming about the perfect world. I would not have kid for a black man not because I am not attracted to them, but because I don't want my kids to suffer as I have: the nappy(endlessly tangled) hair, social rejection, the ghetto lifestyle. Being a part of a race is like being a part of a team, nad no one wants to be on the losing team. Sorry, but I've gotta be real and a lot of people think the way I do.
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Post by Melody on Dec 1, 2003 20:55:42 GMT -5
Frain,
That is such a racist comment. How can you be black and say such nonsense? I don't even know if I should respond to this. What you just said is so shallow and close-minded. I love Black people. I don't like the way all of them act, but I love being Black and everything that comes with it. There are "social misfits" in every race and I am sure that intelligient and wise people could distinguish the difference when they look at a person within any race or culture. There is no correlation between race and behavior, but being poor and raised in certain environments (lack of hope, inner-city) can create negative behavior and lifestyles.
People tend to be harder on their race, but if you look at other races you will see the same issues (or they got something else that plagues their race).
Being Black doesn't mean you are bound to a suffering life. Black people for many years have passed on the cycle of inferiority to their children. I really don't want to go to deep with this. But before I had thought about not dating a Black Man too, because they "all" grew up without fathers and I figured they will lack the knowledge of being a good man or father. There are "typical" Black Families walking around, but Its my desire to make family life different from the one I grew up in.
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dre
Junior Member
For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.
Posts: 84
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Post by dre on Dec 2, 2003 17:45:53 GMT -5
Melody, Its amazing to see how much you've grown in the past year. Or maybe I'm declining because you sure make a lot more sense today than you did a year ago. I have to admit I agree with you on a lot of things now, and for me that is scary. I don't know if Frain is black or not but her views are taken from what she herself have experienced. And she have decided the best way to avoid those experiences in the future is to live her life through her white straight hair kids. Its amazing I see it all the time, people do their best to achieve what they say they would never do. Then for some reason it happens to them anyway. I think its because no matter how much we think we are in control of our lives we are not. And besides that, God don't like ugly. Frain you may marry a guy that is lillywhite. but you know what God can still make that child as black as midnight, if black is in your ancestry. or even an albino. you see if its your kid, it doesn't matter what they look like, you will love them regardless because they are your kids. And you will do the best for them, because you want the best for them. Well you're suppose to anyway, but hey I've seen mothers throw away their new born in the trash, so what's the point! Frain maybe one of those mothers. Well I'm done talking. Sorry to take up all your time not to make a point. All of a sudden I got discouraged.
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Post by THE EMPRESS on Dec 3, 2003 2:22:54 GMT -5
I understand what you mean Dre about Melody and about being discouraged, Frain is a very sad case.
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Post by fyneaswhine on Dec 3, 2003 15:05:48 GMT -5
;DBelizeans Skin color does not matter. It's whats on the inside that shines out radiant or dull. I think people develop their views on skin tone based on personal experiences and encounters also their parents views or peer group views.
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Post by Melody on Dec 6, 2003 22:22:31 GMT -5
"Melody, Its amazing to see how much you've grown in the past year. Or maybe I'm declining because you sure make a lot more sense today than you did a year ago. I have to admit I agree with you on a lot of things now, and for me that is scary."
.............posted by DRE Okay, I will admit I was a little "burnt out" last year. I had alot stuff going on (drama and growing pains) and I may have came across as a "difficult"( and we will leave it at that) person. But Thank You for the compliment. I love hearing sweet words from you. Why is it scary for you to agree with me? DON'T FIGHT THE FEELING!
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