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Post by BelizeanBrownSugar on Feb 11, 2003 18:19:21 GMT -5
That is a good question. It seems to get less conventional. I cannot see it in my future anymore. It is so hard to trust men these days. Or find some one that will last in a relationship.
Marriage is having unconditional love, understanding, communication, honesty in a friend and a lover. I think a marriage should be like having a best guy friend in a monogamous relationship. A unison that can be inseparable at times. All that other corny stuff!
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zoticgal
Junior Member
I'm Zotic. I do it all and then some. That's right, I am all that!
Posts: 55
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Post by zoticgal on Feb 11, 2003 23:18:56 GMT -5
 I want to get married someday. I'm trying not to worry about the "what if" situation. If my husband wants to cheat, then he will and I won't have no control over that. The only thing I have control of is how I treat him. And If I know I did right by him and was faithful to him then I know I did not violate the vows I made to him in front of God, our families and friends. And I'll be able to live with myself. Somtimes people like to say that well if he cheats then I'll cheat. Or oh, he's a worthless bum, he lost his job and don't even want to get another one. My favorite quote is this. "People don't change in time, they only become more of what they already are." There are no guarantees in life. And to go into a marriage thinking its going to have a storybook ending is too niave. I know you will never know anyone to the fullest to trust your heart and life to that one person. But I feel if you make a vow, no matter how bad things get, then you should be man and woman to keep those vows. I love the idea of marriage. I hope Louis don't mind me saying this, but I think it signifies Love. Him and his wife been married for almost 18 years. I asked him how did he do it. He told me when his wife makes a promise she does everything in her power to keep that promise. He then told me. "People think love is something you feel, but it's not. Love is something you do. Because there will be times in your marriage when you feel you just don't love that person, and that is the time you must love that person, no matter how you feel. She loves me, even when I don't deserve it." I know I went long. But I feel if you enter your marriage with no back door clause then it will last. Is there any situation that calls for divorce. Yes! Abuse (physical, mental, emotionally) abondonment (if he leaves and you haven't heard from him at least over a year), and continuos infidelity. Just my opinion. Marriage is a good thing, and I can't wait to experience it. (With a Man) 
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Empress
Junior Member
Don't start none, won't be none
Posts: 95
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Post by Empress on Feb 11, 2003 23:30:47 GMT -5
you go Zotic, couldn't have said it better myself. I do believe in marriage as well and one day I hope to take that step. |
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Post by BelizeanBrownSugar on Feb 12, 2003 10:24:01 GMT -5
That was very nice Zo.
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Post by BelizeanPoet on Feb 12, 2003 14:03:55 GMT -5
Personally, i think all marriages are different, you can make or break that commitment. Marriages or the vows havent changed at all over the years, it's the people who get married who enter into this commitment for all the wrong reasons, what i have to say will be long so i will be back with my indebt reply.
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zoticgal
Junior Member
I'm Zotic. I do it all and then some. That's right, I am all that!
Posts: 55
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Post by zoticgal on Feb 12, 2003 23:23:04 GMT -5
 I would agree with Bzepoet if I hadn't seen it all. i've seen people who seem so perfect together, so happy, engaged for over 2 years, they finally get married and 6 months later they were divorced. Then I know of this couple, he was 18, she was 39. True story by the way. They met in a club. He asked her for one dance, they ended up dancing every song after that together. A slow song came on, and she told him, this is the best time she had in a long time. and she wished it would last for the rest of her life. He replied. Well why can't it. Let's run to vegas and get married. She laughed and said yeah right. he told her he was serious, so she said okay. In all honesty she thought they would just go to vegas for the weekend get a room and come back. But guess what, they got married. She already had a daughter that was 1 year older than him. That was 19 years ago. THEY ARE STILL MARRIED! Now explain that to me. How can two people, age so much apart, that got married 6 hours after they met for the first time, stay together for so long. it's unexplainable. Or better yet. like i said earlier, they made a decision and stuck to it. I work with the guy that did this. He is now 37, his wife about 58. Are they happily married? i can only go from what he says. He says he loves his wife. There is no secret or magic potion to a successful marriage. I really believe, its too responsible people making a sound decision and sticking to it. Forget about all that "are we compatible stuff". It's all a game anyway. Anyone can make you think they are compatible to you until they get what they really want. The trick is outlasting the game. Let it go into overtime and his true self will come out. Sometimes you don't even have to wait that long.
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I want to get married someday. I'm trying not to worry about the "what if" situation. If my husband wants to cheat, then he will and I won't have no control over that. The only thing I have control of is how I treat him. And If I know I did right by him and was faithful to him then I know I did not violate the vows I made to him in front of God, our families and friends. And I'll be able to live with myself.
I would agree with Bzepoet if I hadn't seen it all. i've seen people who seem so perfect together, so happy, engaged for over 2 years, they finally get married and 6 months later they were divorced.